I became very interested in cross cultural attraction living and working around the world, especially as a horny single guy in my twenties. While there’s differences between cultures, it also became clear that there was something universal going on, when say, my Ethiopian friend Tesfaye and I found the same people attractive, or when I started to  connect to my purpose in life, and people everywhere found that hot. It became very obvious that when I started dancing and mediating too, things changed. I had French, Brazilian, American, Spanish, Russian and Israeli girlfriends…and they all liked the same kinds of things, and all responded to embodied practice. I had a lot of feedback, over seven years on the road, and it became clear to me that the deeper aspects of things like emotional intelligence, mindfulness and work with the body were key to attraction.  People chasing money, six-pack abs and designer clothes to seem more beautiful seemed increasingly to be massively missing the point.

When I settled down and became a full-time embodiment teacher I found I was accidentally making students more attractive. I didn’t mean to, I was working on other things with them, but it just happened! I’d be say, working on being calm and confident with an executive and he’d soon report that his wife was wanting more sex, or I’d coach someone listening skills and they’d suddenly find a partner. One time I was coaching an artist to be more open and on the 15min walk from my office to the train station after, the woman in question got asked out three times! In the UK this doesn’t happen and we actually had to help her “turn it down” in the next session so she had a choice about how attractive to be! At the time I didn’t realise what was going on, but the more I studied embodiment the more it made sense. For years I was reluctant to work in this area explicitly as all could find on the subject were sleazy “pick-up” artists and new-age neo-tantra nonsense, neither of which are in keeping with my values. But students kept asking and eventually I realised there was a gap in the market for a practical values-led attractiveness approach. So here we are, in many ways this is a delicate vulnerable topic and I do see a lot of triggering for people around it, but also A LOT of interest and energy. Whatever people say, we all care about this and it this work can really help people. Recently for example I helped a shy fifteen year old boy approach girls he liked confidently (to his mother’s delight by the way in how I did it) and saved him years of pain that I had! I also helped a kick-arse executive realise why she wasn’t finding a “strong” man and why the sex-life of a couple who really love each other had died (no polarity in either case). Once you have the right models such things become easy to understand, and through a range of practices improve.

I’ve also been applying the same work in ethical marketing with students and in my own sales meetings for my company. It works great. Most of all I’m celebrating being married now but the pain of frequent separation and reunion is intense – we’ve had a lot of visa issues – but it’s also beautiful in an odd way. Daria has also added her wise feminine Slavic perspective to the work and helped me see new sides of it, as has working with the Moscow LGBTQ community (gay love shout out!) and other diverse groups.  I find it beautiful to do this work as it’s so juicy and powerful for people. I learnt a lot of this the hard way so you don’t have to…many embarrassing as well as sexy stories or another time…This stuff is SOOO fundamental, matters so much and basically rocks, so it’s time to get it out there. Enjoy!

I became very interested in cross cultural attraction living and working around the world, especially as a horny single guy in my twenties. While there’s differences between cultures, it also became clear that there was something universal going on, when say, my Ethiopian friend Tesfaye and I found the same people attractive, or when I started to  connect to my purpose in life, and people everywhere found that hot. It became very obvious that when I started dancing and mediating too, things changed. I had French, Brazilian, American, Spanish, Russian and Israeli girlfriends…and they all liked the same kinds of things, and all responded to embodied practice. I had a lot of feedback, over seven years on the road, and it became clear to me that the deeper aspects of things like emotional intelligence, mindfulness and work with the body were key to attraction.  People chasing money, six-pack abs and designer clothes to seem more beautiful seemed increasingly to be massively missing the point.

When I settled down and became a full-time embodiment teacher I found I was accidentally making students more attractive. I didn’t mean to, I was working on other things with them, but it just happened! I’d be say, working on being calm and confident with an executive and he’d soon report that his wife was wanting more sex, or I’d coach someone listening skills and they’d suddenly find a partner. One time I was coaching an artist to be more open and on the 15min walk from my office to the train station after, the woman in question got asked out three times! In the UK this doesn’t happen and we actually had to help her “turn it down” in the next session so she had a choice about how attractive to be! At the time I didn’t realise what was going on, but the more I studied embodiment the more it made sense. For years I was reluctant to work in this area explicitly as all could find on the subject were sleazy “pick-up” artists and new-age neo-tantra nonsense, neither of which are in keeping with my values. But students kept asking and eventually I realised there was a gap in the market for a practical values-led attractiveness approach. So here we are, in many ways this is a delicate vulnerable topic and I do see a lot of triggering for people around it, but also A LOT of interest and energy. Whatever people say, we all care about this and it this work can really help people. Recently for example I helped a shy fifteen year old boy approach girls he liked confidently (to his mother’s delight by the way in how I did it) and saved him years of pain that I had! I also helped a kick-arse executive realise why she wasn’t finding a “strong” man and why the sex-life of a couple who really love each other had died (no polarity in either case). Once you have the right models such things become easy to understand, and through a range of practices improve.

I’ve also been applying the same work in ethical marketing with students and in my own sales meetings for my company. It works great. Most of all I’m celebrating being married now but the pain of frequent separation and reunion is intense – we’ve had a lot of visa issues – but it’s also beautiful in an odd way. Daria has also added her wise feminine Slavic perspective to the work and helped me see new sides of it, as has working with the Moscow LGBTQ community (gay love shout out!) and other diverse groups.  I find it beautiful to do this work as it’s so juicy and powerful for people. I learnt a lot of this the hard way so you don’t have to…many embarrassing as well as sexy stories or another time…This stuff is SOOO fundamental, matters so much and basically rocks, so it’s time to get it out there. Enjoy!